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I make art about the inner tension between the need to nurture and a feeling of entrapment associated with motherhood. At the interface between the caring motherly impulses and the relentless tedium, there exists a tension: that is maternal ambivalence. My personal perspective is of a mother of an adult with learning difficulties, where the mother- child relationship becomes trapped in a dependant phase. Repetitive conversations form a considerable part of the interactions between myself and my adult autistic son. Within these intense, laborious exchanges are brief pauses in the flow of words that are relished. It is as if within these hiatuses, there exist traces of myself.  It is these ‘slivers of silence’ that I am exploring in my current artwork. I have been searching for my own words; my voice as it were to fill these spaces, in order to take ownership of them.  The piece ‘A Lull in the Conversation’ is a hand stitched record of some of these thoughts.

Melanie Jordan

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